For years people of other metros have sneered at us, ‘delhiites’. “What yaar your city is so unsafe for you women. Look at us we can travel so safely even till late & crime on women is so low”. Pitying us, patronizing us and sometimes almost blaming us women, of the capital city. As if we are responsible in some way for it. As if it was only an isolated problem of one pocket or one city or only one community. Some years ago, in a leading women’s magazine in kolkata there was an open statement that apparently, “women in Delhi have to (that means HAVE TO) grow their nails, not as a fashion statement, but to protect them selves from their assailants.” Did they really believe that only ten brittle nails could save us from a rapist? Imagine a newspaper headline – ‘women practicing scratching and goring her assailant with her bare nails’. Gross. Somewhat like Shakti kapoor saying, “ankhen nikalke gotiyan khelunga”.

A friend from Mumbai couldn’t help laughing when I told her that in Delhi after 7 we avoid going in public buses; autos are okay but still we avoid it. Her reply was, “I travel at 3 in the night in public buses. And in Ahmedabad I can travel in an auto at 12 in the night.” As a person who loves this city, I felt guilty, I felt ashamed & hated Delhi. And most Delhiite women I spoke to took this as a way of life. Something you grow up with, like a ‘seventh sense of security’. Just as you can’t leave your home without your purse you cannot leave your home without your 7^th sense.

 

There are a few cardinal rules ingrained in our minds –

 

Avoid traveling alone in the night.

Avoid Hitch hiking at any cost.

Keep your eyes, ears always alert and open for any attackers.

Contribution from my mom, “Keep your elbow ready to puncture anyone hankering behind you.”

If your horoscope says, “a stranger will sweep you off your feet”, that certainly doesn’t mean you start talking to strangers.

Carry a homemade weapon like a pointed or sharp object or red chilli powder.

 

What weapon, I couldn’t possible carry a knife, so in college we carried an open compass hidden in our cloth bags. We have left many an eve-teaser with a bleeding hand or thigh or even, butt or back. But till now we haven’t been able to come to terms with it emotionally that we have seriously injured someone. That apart I always carried a very serious attitude if traveling by a public bus so that I appear as unapproachable and dangerous as I can. At least I can use it to protect myself but not cause severe injury. And that’s how life went on.

Then one day my mom rescued me from my guilt pangs. “Carry an Umbrella”, she said, “You can use it to at least defend yourself.” So I cling on to my umbrella now. I may forget to take my purse but I never forget to take my umbrella.

The Umbrella, humble as it is, came very handy in the past 20 yrs of my adult life and innumerable bus rides around Delhi. Once at a self-defense club, we were warned, “when you are walking on the road, keep eye contact with the men walking towards you. Some won’t look at you at all. If they look at you and bring up their hand to the ears, head or mouth, be careful, as he might hit you on the chest with his elbow.” Now I decided to apply the same tactics on those guys. Since they had their hand up, I opened the umbrella below their belt, just when they were about to stretch their elbow.

From Kolkata I get those special 3 fold ones… but the ones with the button system are the best. With the right aim I just need to press the button to hit the culprit inadvertently just at the right place. The apparent shock of the folding umbrella shooting out and hitting very hard is enough to “fold-him-up” and disable him for the next 30 min. Then I just give the audience an apologetic grin ‘it was merely an accident’. So my “Fold-em-up” dual-purpose protector, protected me from element’s fury as well nasty elements on two feet.

I once saw an amusing scene as a lady in a crowded Kolkata train hung out from the door and extended her umbrella to hit a guy on the platform who had gone out of her reach. When he turned around the train was gone and he didn’t know what hit him, but the crowd did and gave him a good thrashing for eve teasing. 

              This ambiguous weapon doesn’t cause severe injury, is multipurpose, can easily fit into your small handbag and can never be detected as a weapon in any security check. Also can be a fashion statement as they come in various colors and prints.

My boss at the studio finds it quite endearing, “You know you Bengali girls are so similar to the French women in paris. You, like them, never forget to carry your umbrella.”

I smile coyly, “yes boss, we have the same sense”…but ue it to different purpose. I have my protector always by my side hooked on to my arm.